doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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