Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
