that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
