Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
