The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize