Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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