well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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