I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have feelings that need drinking.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize