Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize