He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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