found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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