obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
