garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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