i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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