i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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