At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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