after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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