I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
