I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
