I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
