she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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