im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
