I'm really into asian looking animals
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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