I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
