Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
