This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
