Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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