addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
