he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
