Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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