I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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