Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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