no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
