just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
