is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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