he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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