come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
