nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
