The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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