I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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