i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
