what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
