what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
