it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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