I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this will be a night to untag.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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