In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
