Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize