It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
