you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
