I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
FUCK WHALES
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
