I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
