Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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