If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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