if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
