So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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