At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
