so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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