That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
