I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
