there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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