There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
