Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
