so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
