I need help removing her.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This baby is an asshole
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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