Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
